Amari's Log
Welcome to my diary, take your time here! This is where you'll here about my life outside of my website, although some of it isn't very interesting ^^;
I hope you enjoy though! If it works for you, this page is best suited with the music player back in the tearoom :3c
2022年8月23日
I went to school. Everything was fine. I hope I won't fail the test today. I tried taking a nap today, but i couldn't sleep. My body hurts.
2022年10月5日
I'm afraid
2023年8月15日
1/2 Hello everynyan!!! This is the first actual post I'll be making but I'll keep it brief cuz I h8 writing teehee :3 Anyways I have a manga recommendation for all of the six people on this site !!!!!READ LYCHEE LIGHT CLUB!!!!! LLC (or ライチ☆光クラブ for the weebs in the audience) is this horror manga I really like that was based on a stageplay from 1985. judging by the clips I saw on youtube cuz I have NO idea where to watch the actual thing it is POGGERS and I'm currently trying to learn the dance from the newer one Overall a silly haha story that I will not spoil cuz I'm not mean ;] Though it does get pretty gory in the manga (not sure about the stageplay) so if you're a youngin (I am the superior youngin) or not into that it's okay to skip!!! I'll see you little scrunklies the next time I remember to put something here :D
2023年8月15日 2/2
Holy carp it's raining so hard outside I love using this like I'm live tweeting
2023年8月25日
Fun Fact!! This website was gonna be like an ARG as you could probably sense from the unknown page and the first Log entries but like two weeks ago I actually tried making this my blog because my old website idea was GARBAGE!!! Honestly glad I did because I refuse to use social media outside of small unknown ones so this is like my page teehee
2023年8月28日
OK I LIED YOU KNOW HOW I SAID LLC WAS REALLY GOOD UHH IM CURRENTLY REREADING IT AND ITS HARD TO DO HELP WHY IS THERE BOOBIES IN THE FIRST CHAPTER I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS
2023年9月4日
I don't know what to put here honestly I just wanted to add another Log entry. God I want donuts right now but I'm trying to eat mega healthy to lose weight quickly. UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME SWEETS ARE MY FAVORITE FOOD so it's really hard. Praying I can lose weight frfr
2023年9月18日
Hello Hello once again :D Today I'll brush up on a seasonal event: HALLOWEEN! It's my favorite season ever, so even though it's only the eighteenth I'm already gathering decorations (and maybe assets) to decorate :D I'm into Halloween more casually I think, so I only do small things. Maybe if I'm not lazy enough I'll take time to redecorate the main page for halloween (or at least redirect to a halloween themed copy so I wont have to painstakingly remake the entire front page every holiday. Other than that I'm really tired. I stayed up all night writing a paper I realized I could've just printed, and that realization essentially made my brain explode.
2023年9月29日 This entry can be distressing for some. Take care when reading!
Hello hello hello I'm back once again. Sometimes I feel like I'm not really good enough for people. I don't mean to put a damper on the soft mood of my website, but this is MY DIARY and I GET TO PUT WHATEVER I WANT >:3c. But seriously I just want to get my thoughts out. To be honest, I kind of hate how I never feel like I'm good enough at anything or for anyone. Like I'll see my friends and feel bad because I'm never on their level in terms of things like knowledge, art skills and even stupid things like gacha game luck. Is it normal to always feel like a burden? Or to always worry if they actually like you? I'm not sure, but I've worried about this so much it feels normal to me 笑. Honestly not even confident in this website also (like do people even read this?). My eyes hurt so I think I'm going to stop typing. Sorry again.
2023年10月25日
Greetings once again. I've been thinking of revamping my website again, but I'm not sure how to start heehee. I wanted a more Heisei Lolita feel, like wayy more than it already is. I know that doesn't really make sense so I'll explain. Maybe more pngs of things like sweets and stuffed animals? I'm really tired right know so I don't really know what I'm talking about tbh. I really like the vibe of Heisei Japan, and especially things like shoujo manga and how big stationary and scrapbooking was. That's why my website looks the way it is, because I really like the handrawn/real life png aesthetic. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
Anyways I'll leave it here for now since my eyes kind of hurt.
2023年11月8日 This entry can be distressing for some. Take care when reading!
I made cookies recently :D I would show a photo but when I shared the image to my Google Drive it didn't load, so no gracing you with misshapen rabbit cookies. (Update: JUST KIDDING) I think I baked them for too long anyways, since they were really hard when cooled. Maybe I overworked the dough? I'm not entirely sure. I kind of feel like I'm in a weird place right now, I don't know why, I just feel, off. My head just feels like a mixing mess of whatever comes into my thoughts. It'ts not bad or anything, but I feel like something's changing and I don't know what. Maybe my life is getting better but I haven't realized it since I've been in a depressed state for so long? I spent a lot (most) of yesterday watching true crime videos, and that got me thinking about death and the situations in the video. It really freaked me out, but no matter how much I try not to think about it, I have been blessed and cursed with a really good memory. Right now, I'm really scared of change and the future. I'm afraid I'm getting farther away from what I've known for a really long time. I'm in a slump. I feel, isolated.
Approximate recreation of Amari's brain- 08.11.2023
2023年11月29日
Why am I obsessed with this thing where did he come from what is this game where am I what is going on
2023年12月16日
I literally got sick for my birthday today this is so not fair. My birthday's on the 21st, but I usually stay sick for a week and I'm so MAD. It hurts to cough and my nose is burning it's just, eughhh... Anyways what else should I talk about... Oh I guess it's weird I'm turning 16 finally, I honestly never thought I would make it. Sixteen makes me feel like I'm so old, but life goes on. I wonder what I'll get for my birthday. If it was a perfect world I would want to get a laptop, but my mom literally doesn't trust me with electronics because I had an online friend (who was my age)... I don't know she's weird like that, but I guess it's my fault for having one isn't it ;;
2023年12月21日
ITS TODAY !! MY BIRTHDAY HAS ARRIVED!! Like I said on my previous entry I turned sixteen today. Honestly, I don't really feel that different. I wonder what I'll get for my birthday heehee. I originally wanted to make my own birthday cake which was supposed to be a strawberry whipped cream cake, but I ended up having to go to my dad's house (not that I'm mad). After how garbage my last birthday was, I'm not too stoked for my birthday this year even though it's supposed to be this giant milestone usually. It kind of feels like nothing at this point. I'm not excited at all, which sucks because my younger self was looking so forward to this day. Regardless, I get to eat cake and hopefully get a cool present, like the LEGO Orchid set I got from my brother yesterday :3c
2024年1月22日
Wow haha it's been a while lol. I've kind of gotten sick of this website so I havent been updating it much ;; I've been really tired recently, I've been sleeping more actually. All I really want to do is sleep nowadays, I've barely picked up any video games actually. I wonder if I've been feeling more depressed and tired lately since I haven't been able to play any of my games or even draw. I most likely am, but I'm trying to do more things since I'm so sad. I've been reading more manga actually, I think I prefer it over anime since most of the series I like are only in manga form ;; I wish I could have someone to talk to my favorite series about, but most people my age are only action fans, so the only people I can talk to about anime is 20-30 year olds :[
2024年2月2日 This entry can be distressing for some. Take care when reading!
Hmmhmm, I feel like I'm confused on some things right now. I don't know what I'm feeling, it's just I don't feel like I'm where I want to be currently. One thing I'm real stuck on is my gender. Like, I feel like I look too feminine or like too many feminine things, but I also dont feel fully "feminine," if that makes sense. I know I say I prefer gender neutral pronouns, but I just don't know what I am. I don't want to be feminine, I don't want to be masculine, but I hate being lumped into "girl" things with my family or people at school or anything and the same for "boy" things. I kind of just want to be my own thing, but I don't know what this thing is since I keep thinking I look too feminine, which makes me think, "oh you look like a female you're female you have to be female you aren't androgynous enough." Sure I like feminine things like dresses and frills and cute things, but I really want to be able to tell myself that liking feminine things =/= being female. I can't stop this thought process, and no matter how hard I try wearing things I like or hiding my body, I always tell myself "people know you know you're not andro you're not cute or look like those short skinny people who look perfect you're ugly you're an ugly girl." It's hard. I hate these thoughts but they come back like every day, even now. Is this normal? I want to label myself something, but I feel like if I do I won't feel fully like that and I'll feel like I'm faking. Maybe I'm just ranting so I'll cut it short here sorry.
2024年2月20日
I came back :D I haven't been on recently because I was traveling heehee :3c I visited California to see some family and it was great! I was surprised how well I connected with some of my cousins, we hit it off thankfully. We went to an arcade called Round 1 after my little cousin's birthday party and it was literally insane since it had rhythm games like Beatmania and Sound Voltex, something I've never had the chance of playing outside of web versions ;; The next day we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, something I've really wanted to visit, however since it was the weekend there were a lot of people, making it stressful sadly. Other than that, I really enjoyed the trip and walking around the seaside :D
2024年3月10日
Hello hello again, I wanted to make this blog entry to welcome the springtime ^_^ I'm a little sad that winter is over, of course, but I'm really excited for the weather to get warmer which means trips are being planned. It rains here more during the spring, so I'm also excited for that heehee. I'm happy the sun is out more because the early afternoon is my favorite time of day next to the very early morning (3:00-6:00). I wonder if it's weird I like mornings and sunny days even though I rarely like waking up and usually stay up at night, but maybe that's just me worrying over nothing. Cool summer and spring days are really underrated in my opinion, especially when they're windy or slightly stormy. One of my dreams is to visit a really windy flower field or just a grass field and have a picnic in the sun with someone. Maybe it could be a sunflower field? Yellow roses and sunflowers are amazing and I wish I could grow them, but unfortunately it's too hot where I live ;; I don't know what I'm talking about anymore honestly. I recently started watching a show called "Joe Pera Talks With You" I think it really speaks to me since I try to look for the small things in life, like I said above haha. It really helps me calm down, I even relate a bit to Joe with how quiet he is. I really like it because of how soft it is, kind of weird I'm usually an anime person, but this show gets a pass.
2024年3月31日
It seems it's already April... I'm a bit sad it's already this late into the year If I'm being honest... It still feels like it's December lol. I've been thinking of redesigning my room actually :0 It's been the same layout and look for almost seven years at this point, so I think I need to get rid of a lot of my old garbage haha. A new desk and shelving units would help me reorganize a lot now that I think about it, plus I could display all my cute trinkets better than if they were on my corkboard :3c I saw a video recently of a lady making a lolita dress out of a bedsheet, and that got me on a summer project craze haha. I really want to make my own lolita dress this summer, even if it looks really bad ^^; It would be my first attempt at sewing anything though, so I don't mind if I mess up! I wonder what pattern I would choose :0 Maybe I could find a cute floral pattern? I don't own a sewing machine, so spending my summer sewing by hand sounds a bit strenuous, but apparently you can still sew by hand like that, so I'll try to do that as my summer project :o I hope I would get to wear it on the first day of school heehee, maybe people would give me compliments? I hope it'll turn out well if I decide to do it :D
2024年4月11日 This entry can be distressing for some. Take care when reading!
Hello hello.
These days I've been feeling really upset, yet excited? I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like I always have this off and weird feeling in my chest. I want to cry, but I can't no matter how much I feel like this. I hate this feeling, so all I want to do is just lay in bed and hope it'll go away. I try to read manga or watch something, but I always have this thought that even fictional characters have better lives than me (lol). Around me, I feel like everyone is moving on, growing up, starting anew, while I'm stuck in my tiny room looking up at everyone else. Is this normal? Is it normal to feel stuck no matter what I do? Even if I'm reading a manga and the characters are growing and changing, characters that don't know me, characters that don't exist, I just feel...empty. I feel abandoned by people who don't know me, and yet why do I feel like this? I feel like I'm just rambling on at this point, but it's something to help me get my thoughts out. It's such a weird conflict though, because at the same time of fearing abandonment and being forgotten, I want to be forgotten. Like I feel so horrible about myself that all I want to do is get away from everyone and everything to spare them and myself pain. Right now, all I want to do is go to my own dimension, where I can walk forever in silence. I want an escape, but I don't know how to escape. I just want to be at peace with myself, I just want to sleep forever and forget everything I'm feeling right now. I know that's an impossible goal, but just for a day, I want to sleep in peace. Maybe then I'll get my escape; but even then I know I have to wake up.
And I'll wake up as stuck as before.
Sorry for this post in my diary, I've been feeling bad lately, but unfortunately I don't know how to express my feelings. Sorry if this was in any way distressing for you!
2024年5月2日
Good morning everyone! It seems it's already May, which means I'm closer to getting a break for the summer! Oh, right now is also Golden Week, so I've been away from my Japanese friends for a little while, but don't worry! I'm still studying so while they're away I can talk to them more heehee. Like I said in a previous entry, I've been wanting to do some handicrafts over the summer, like sewing or maybe I could try to find a garage kit :0 I think making handicrafts could be helpful to me in my creativity, plus it would help me enjoy the process over the result. I think if I actually do try to make a dress I'll try not to stress about it too much, and even if I mess up the dimensions, I can take the time to fix it and hopefully continue stress free. I've been practicing sewing on some old shirts (rest in peace Vash Stampede T-shirt) so I think by the time summer rolls around I can hopefully sew enough with minimal help from my mom (lol). Aside from this, I've been feeling okay recently, although my tongue has been hurting since I bit it while sleeping ;;. Oh, I also recently started playing Twisted Wonderland again, I'm so happy to play it after I didn't have enough space heehee. I'm also happy since I made it in time for White Rabbit Fest, which means some of my favorites got cute White Rabbit-themed cards. I think it's obvious what my favorite animal is, so I of course was ecstatic for this event XD. I guess that's all I have for now, so byebye!
2024年5月15日
Hello again! I'm surprised it's already the summer haha. I get out of school tomorrow actually, which means I'm closer to doing the things I really want to over break. I was thinking of getting a part-time job soon, actually. I wonder where I should work though... It's a bit sad that it's already the summertime, but I'm happy because this means I'll get more freedom since I'm getting older. I can't believe I'm already turning 17 this year, I still feel like I'm 13 or 14. I'll be going on a lot of trips this summer, namely I'll finally visit the northeast! I really like the seaside, so I'm really excited I'll get to visit Rhode Island this year. I just hope it isn't too crowded heehee.
2024年5月27日
I have returned! Sorry I haven't updated things in a while, I've been a bit busy with tons of things. Although looking back May is the most updated section on here isn't it ^^; What have I been up to, exactly? I went to an anime convention for the second time! It was really fun seeing everyone in cosplay, I even found some folks dressed in really unknown costumes so when I recognized them they were really impressed. I also got some cute things too, so when I actually edit my collection (maybe I'll get to it today :3), you'll get to see what I've gotten in full instead of just writing on here. Let's see... The best items I actually picked up was a handmade vinyl Riddle Rosehearts keychain and a Twisted Wonderland art book :0 I can't believe I even managed to pick the latter up, but to be fair it was a specialty stand for Japanese art books. They even had the actual Persona 5 one, but unfortunately it was out of my ptice range (I'll come back for you someday Yusuke). In terms of cosplayers though, I managed to spot a Kusuriuri from Mononoke! I'm really happy the series is getting traction again with the movie coming out in July, but I feel like it's getting good traction because everyone still seems so chilled out. Maybe it's because everyone who liked the series is older? I also chatted with two cosplayers dressed as Mahito from JJK and Klara from Pokemon, they were so sweet!! We unfortunately couldn't keep in touch, but they were so friendly I kind of wish I told them about my website ^^; I also took photos of some Persona 3 cosplayers and even a Ciel Phantomhive, but for the latter I had trouble finding my phone so I had to snap a photo with my 3DS haha. All in all, it was a really fun trip, and I can't wait to show you the cosplays and goodies I got!
2024年6月27日
Long time no blog heehee ^^; Sorry it's been a while, truth is I've been pretty preoccupied with some other activities, mainly exercising and sleeping LOL. Actually, I've been thinking of finishing my collection page, something I've left unfinished since I started editing again ^^; It's a bit of a daunting task, on account of taking a bunch of photos and editing them accordingly, but now it sounds a bit fun! Plus, I can use it as an excuse to reorganize for the fifth time this year XD Other than that, it's been really hot where I live, so I haven't been getting out as much as I would like ;; Maybe the heat waves in the US have been getting to my state? Whatever it is though I hope it'll die down before summer ends. Also, I recently got in touch with an old friend of mine, and we made plans to bake a cake with each other sometime! I'm really happy since we haven't seen each other in person in I think...two years? We hit it off like nothing ever happened lol, I'm really glad to call them my friend still. I think that's pretty much it for the time being, but I hope to write more blog posts as school nears (I'll be editing a LOT so look out for future updates). Thank you once again and byebye!
2024年7月10日
Good evening everyone, it's been a little bit hasn't it? I actually haven't had much going on, since I've mostly been laying around doing nothing all day. It's gotten to the point I've turned nocturnal ;; (case in point: it's 1:39). I really do feel kind of upset though, because the summer for me is almost over. I wish I didn't feel so tired and upset all the time honestly ^^; I always feel like I'm letting people down since I barely have any energy, and when I do no one's around to see. I wonder if that's normal? Or I wonder I just feel like this because I'm lazy. I'll try not to dwell on it though, since here really isn't the place for that. Hmm, other than that, I baked some strawberry muffins recently :0 They came out a bit too dense though, so maybe I should have added more milk hmm. Oh! Actually this weekend is my trip to Rhode Island with my mom :0 I'm pretty nervous about it actually, but I'm excited to eat a lot of good seafood and visit places I've always wanted to, like Newport or maybe even Salem (I don't think my mom would visit though ^^;). I guess that's all I have for now, so I'll go back to editing my website!
2024年7月31日
Goodbye goodbye summer! I'm writing this entry a bit sadly, because in a few hours I'll have to return to school. It's honestly a bit nerve-wracking... I'll be an eleventh grader surrounded by all new people and it seems a bit scary to me ^^; I think it's a bit obvious at this point, but I'm very shy, so I feel like it's going to be extra difficult these first few days for me since there's so many new folks. I don't know haha, I just think speaking to others and in general is really scary. Ah, other than that since I'll be using my computer more often, I'll be catching up on my website a bit! Soon it'll be the one year anniversary I revived and revamped it, so be on the lookout for something to celebrate soon heehee... I'll also be working on following back the websites who've followed me, I really apologize I've been behind! I feel like most people don't really feel the need to follow back other creators, but to me it's just as important both ways! That plus a little message is a really nice thing to recieve, especially since everyone here is working really hard on their websites and we're in a bit of a dark time, so I really want to give back to everyone who's been kind to me. Thank you everyone for your support! I'll be sure to edit and work hard to make my site as cute as I really want it to be in my head! (｀_´)ゞあたしに任せて！
2024年8月15日
Heehee, happy one year anniversary of Amari-ga-shin-da's revamp! Wow, one year sure blew by quickly hmm? I still remember the first day I started redoing the aesthetic and feel of my site, and to think it was because of a kind person I met on the Litchi Hikari Club's fandom wiki. Thank you so much Wampir, for inspiring me to recreate my website into something new, and although you're not around on Neocities anymore I'm really greatful for your kind words! Amari-ga-shin-da has really come a long way since last year, and what was once a creepy Japanese art project reminiscent of underground horror games and ARGs, has become a soft and gentle place I can truly call home. I'm really excited to see what comes in the years to come of my site, since it changed so much in the past year or so... I wonder if anyone remembers the old days where I didn't even know how to center text heehee, but now I can do simple css (although with the help of templates and W3Schools ^^;). But I digress, thank you everyone for supporting me throughout the year, and like me keep going!! Keep going with your visions and projects and make them as great as you can, even if it looks bad at first, keep trying and soon you'll have something great to share :D I guess this celebration is really all I had to share, so what will I actually do to celebrate perhaps? I'll edit some more XD Here's to a good year~
2024年8月27日 This entry can be distressing for some. Take care when reading!
Hello once again! It's been a little bit heehee, I've actually been really busy with school and I haven't been updating a lot. Sorry for that! I've actually been really sleepy lately, so more often than not I'm asleep after school. I feel like I should be doing something with my life soon honestly, but I'm not sure...I think I'm still too afraid of big changes like that ^^; I don't know... I'm going to be an adult soon (a little more than a year!) so I'm worrying a bit more and more about my future and everything. I don't want to disappoint anyone, so I feel like I have to rush to get things done since I'll be 17 soon. It really isn't a great feeling ;; It's worse now that mostly everyone around my age is starting to grow up, like with working and driving... I'm honestly a bit jealous. I know I shouldn't compare or even feel envious of people my age, but I really can't help that part of me deep down. It really hurts a lot of the time, where one side wants to rush and is really scared about not meeting expectations, while the other is just so tired and wants to sleep all the time. I wonder if this is a common feeling honestly. I'm writing this in class, so I should go soon. Thank you for your time!
2024年9月11日
Hmmhmm, it seems that autumn is nearly here! I'm a bit excited for the autumn, because it means Halloween and other holidays are coming up! For now I have Tsukimi to look forward to...I even made mitarashi dango to celebrate the moon-viewing festival! I really enjoy celebrating other culture's holidays, even if they're not mine I'll still support them with little decorations or drawings! Perhaps next year I'll try my hand at making mooncakes? Or maybe even songpyeon :D I hope I'm not being rude by doing this, I was actually a bit worried mentioning my love for other cultures...I wonder if I'm appropriating since I'm not their cultures? Probably not, but I'm still a bit nervous that I am ^^; I guess it can't be helped hmmhmm. Oh also, I might remake my seasonal themes, but this time I'll make them the launch page rather than the homepage (I'm nervous at the thought of CSS ;;) I'll even keep the music for these special versions! Would that look good? I hope it will :] Other than that I haven't really been up to much, unless you count grinding Project Mirai on my 3DS XD. Maybe for Christmas I'll buy myself a Hatsune Miku figure, but if I'm being honest, I'd probably buy a KAITO one since he's my favorite. That's all for now, so I'll see you later!
2024年10月2日
Hello hello...It certainly is October already! I'm really sorry I haven't been very active for the past month or so... in reality I've been very busy with school and life that all I'm doing right now is worrying about school ^^; I'm a bit sad about being so busy if I'm being honest- I feel like I've left my duties online like editing my website or talking to my friends, but I guess it can't be helped if I'm busy, hm? I've been really sleepy recently, although looking at my previous entries that's a common occurence isn't it? I guess I usually am sleepy since I never get a good night's sleep... I honestly think I'm becoming nocturnal with how tired I am during the day and how awake I am at night. Maybe I have insomnia? Well whatever the case may be I'd rather be sleeping instead of worrying all day ^^; After this week I promise my seasonal index page will return! I was actually thinking of putting this year's decor on the index rather than the homepage since I changed the latter so much... what do you think? Plus, it would be easier since my index is a bit simplistic :] I'm a bit sleepy right now, so I might leave this log entry here for the time being. See you next time!
2024年10月21日
The weather's finally getting colder! I'm so happy that this time of year has finnally come, no more are the days of heat waves. I'm a bit excited for Halloween and the other fall holidays, but sadly I won't be really celebrating on the 31st since my mom thinks I'm too old for that ^^; It's a real shame though, since it feels like the more time passes, the less people there are to have fun on Halloween ;; I feel bad that everyday life where I'm from has to be in a layer of protection and distrust, and honestly if I was there to experience it I'd want everyone to have fun on Halloween like they did 20, 30 years ago. I guess it's for the better we're becoming safer and more cautious, but still a little part of me still wishes for these festivities even if I can't articulate well (sorry ^^;) Other than that, I've been playing a lot of LittleBigPlanet recently... It's still as fun as I remember! I'm really upset about how Sony is treating the game currently, like with the DLC and third game being removed, so I honestly just went and bought all of the DLC I wanted last minute... I couldn't be happier! I've stayed up a lot recently just playing the game and creating things, even just playing around with music and sounds fills me with nostalgia. Did you know my very first save was from March 2013? Like always, I think I'll stop writing...I hope everyone has a nice Halloween and autumn!
2024年11月13日
Hey hey! It's been a little bit hmm? The weather's a lot colder now, so I've been wearing softer clothing and coordinations, I even made an apple pie recently! Alas, I've also been busy with school since finals are coming up... I've been worried about my grades for about a month now ;; Oh well, I just need to stay focused in the next month hmmhmm. What else have I been up to this time? Recently I found out there was an aesthetic called "Juminocore," and I feel like it's what I try to encompass here in my blog. I think it's great that there's an official name for what I'm trying to convey, but I don't know... I guess it doesn't really feel special to me anymore after hearing about it? I'm not one to discourage others from following a movement, of course! However as for me I'm worried that if I continue decorating and following this movement as Juminocore gets popular, I'll just be seen as a trend-chaser and that I only like it in a shallow sense. Maybe that's just me though...I'm sorry if I come across as cold or if I'm gatekeeping! I tend to be a bit too doubtful and sensitive towards my interests, maybe it stems from my fear of being judged? Well whatever the case may be, I'll still continue with my love for earthy and retro feels ^^ I guess I'm finished worrying for the day, so I'll finish my homework now. Thank you for listening!
2024年12月16日
Hmm...It's finals week at my school ;; I've been so nervous for this week I haven't really been sleeping, but I guess that's normal since I never really get sleep ^^; I'm really worried I won't do well on my exams since my grades aren't...exactly the best, so I'm nervous I might end up failing some of my classes this year. I mean I've been trying to study, but It's hard to understand what our tests will be on, especially when it's topics we went over earlier in the year. Even right now I'm sleepy while writing this; I wish I was at home sleeping ;; Other than this I suppose, my birthday is coming up again! It's weird how I'm already going to be 17... I guess life really is fleeting, hm? I guess now I'll really have to think about what I want to do when I'm an adult, but I still feel like I'm 14-15... oh well ^^; Maybe I'll go back to studying, so I hope to see you again on my birthday!
2025年1月7日
Yawwwwn... It's really been a little while, hm? I really hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday season, I know I did! The last time I wrote in here was right before my birthday, so I'm actually 17 now also :D It was great having a friend over for my birthday, we baked my cake together and just hung out the whole day XD I finally own a copy of Yotsubato also! I've been reading it since I was around eight so I'm really happy I finally own a copy after all these years, same with my new copy of LittleBigPlanet 2! All in all I had a nice break, but coming back to school plus the fact it's already 2025 makes me a bit nervous because time is going so fast (but then again, I'm always worrying over something ^^; At least the beginning of the semester is kind of relaxed, but as it goes on I'll keep working harder since we have the ACTs in April ;-; No use complaining about it right now I suppose, so for the time being, I guess I'll edit my site some more. Bye for now!!
2025年2月6日
I guess Valentine's Day is already coming up soon, hm? I thought this year I wanted to mix things up and make candy for my friends, I'm excited to see if I can find any cute molds or even flavored chocolate! I've actually been talking to some of my Japanese friends about it, I really want to try and make giri-choco (my only choice since I'm not ready for love ^^;). I'm wondering on what to actually hand out though... in the supermarket near me I did find matcha powder once, so maybe I could try to make matcha chocolate? Maybe I just like sweets too much, but I'm really excited about trying confectionary! I only really bake most of the time, but maybe if I have enough money I could try to do petit-fours as well? I think I'm a little too into this, especially since they're just platonic chocolates ^^; The truth is around Valentine's Day I feel a bit upset, but that's mostly because I don't really have anyone in my life (yet?) to celebrate it with. I don't know...is it weird for me to not be into romance at this age? I just think its really scary, but I feel like I'm missing something seeing others in love... Is that normal? I don't know what else to talk about right now, so I'm sorry my journal entries are few and far in between... Take care!
2025年2月26日
Hello again, how are you? Like always, school has been really busy... I barely have enough time to play games because I've been feeling extra tired lately. On some days I even sleep for twelve hours ;; Why must school be so busy? I feel like it's becoming harder to keep up as time goes on, but that's probably just me being lazy ^^; In other news I feel like I did alright on a recent algebra test, but I'm still worried I didn't because we never got our results back; I know I shouldn't think like that, but I don't know, it's hard not to worry about that sort of thing especially when you struggle in that subject, right? I'm really not good with numbers I don't think, math gets really complicated and I'm too much of a peabrain to understand :] In other news, I can't believe it's already going to be March... time really moves too fast for me to keep up, I guess that's why I say I feel older than 17, but younger at the same time ;; Maybe I'll end this entry here; I'm actually writing this quite late at night, so good night!
2025年3月25日
I'm back at school! Sorry I don't write in here much, I tend to forget when I'm off for breaks because playing Project Diva is more important than keeping up with my log ^^; But then again I'm never really doing anything except studying and sleeping or drawing... I am a bit sad actually, since a gacha game I was fond of got shut down recently ;; It's always sad to see something you like end so early, right? To be honest though I never really played Tale of Food outside of when it launched in 2023 or a few times here and there, but I'll still cherish the time I spent with my food souls (especially Dumpling ;-;) Oh well, I at least still have another food based gacha game to hold me over this sadness (Food Fantasy), I've actually been playing it since it's English server launched as well (2018; returned in 2020)! I honestly really love characters that are based on concepts like foods or animals, so maybe that explains why I love these types of games? I just really like gijinkas XD Speaking of that, maybe I should try to make my own sometime? I've started a new sketchbook recently so maybe I should have a page dedicated to food gijinkas, like my autumn themed magical girls I drew for Halloween! In fact maybe I should make that a seasonal thing... I could have sakuramochi and hanami dango as characters this time around? I guess I'm talking randomly at this point, so I'll end my springtime entry here ^^; Thank you!